In had started back in the Starflight Academy, where Rod had sweet talked his way into the dormitory room of half of the female star cadets. It had continued during Rod's first tour of duty at Stargate Three, where Rod's amorous exploits had made him something of a living legend. On the ship to Tau Ceti, Rod had enjoyed many an erotic tryst in tiny cramped places that the ship's designers could never have imagined would allow such activity. Rod had the nickname of the Cosmic Casanova.
But now Rod had a problem. He was stuck on the third planet of Tau Ceti, on a 30-day mission to gather biological samples and mineral samples. He was part of a landing party of four people, but it consisted only of men. For someone with Rod's raging hormones, this was a temporary hell.
“Me and Jaworski are taking the 4-wheeler to explore to the west,” said Rod's boss Cy Wilson, talking to Rod and another astronaut named Ted Ferello. “We'll be back in a day or two. You guys stay here and gather more samples. And whatever you do, don't make any contact with any intelligent life forms you may come across. We know there are some intelligent beings here, but our policy towards them is non-interference.”
Rod and Ted kept up the job of gathering the life samples and mineral samples. They ate and slept in a landing craft that had taken the astronauts from their interstellar starship to the surface of the planet. On their first night alone in the landing craft, Ted saw something while looking out of the window of the landing craft.
“Look at that!” Ted said. “It's one of this planet's intelligent life forms.”
Rod looked ahead. The creature did not have a monstrous appearance at all. Instead it looked like a woman – a very beautiful woman. The creature had long flowing blonde hair, full red lips, large luminous eyes, abundant breasts and buttocks, and a thin waist. The creature was scantily clad in a minimal piece of clothing.
Ted started talking about the marvel of convergent evolution on two different planets, but Rod could only think of one thing: how sexy the alien creature was. In situations like this, Rod's libido always trumped his higher thinking processes.
The next day while Ted and Rod were gathering samples, Rod saw the alien woman in the distance. Rod drew closer to the woman. He began to smell an alluring scent, like nothing he had ever smelled before. The woman was smiling at Rod, and she seemed to have a seductive look on her face.
Rod thought for a moment: should I take the risk of defying a taboo, by trying to mate with an alien woman? But then Rod gave into temptation. He was not one to let a taboo come between him and his next sexual conquest.
Rod approached the alien woman and began kissing her. The woman seemed to giggle with delight. One thing led to another, and before long the two of them found themselves lying on the greenish-blue grass of the alien planet, locked in a tight embrace.
At first Rod thought it was the best and most exciting romp he had ever had.
But then, all of a sudden, the physical bliss turned into physical agony.
Rod pulled away from the woman, and shrieked in pain. The pain was from one particular part of his body. He ran back to the landing craft, looking for
something that would ease his pain.
Jaworski and Wilson returned in the 4-wheeler vehicle, and with great embarrassment Rod explained what happened.
“You idiot!” shouted Wilson. “I told you to stay away from the intelligent life forms here.”
The men got back in the landing craft, and blasted off, returning to the starship that was orbiting the planet. Rod went immediately to the ship's doctor, asking what could be done about his medical problem.
“Pull down your pants, and let me take a look,” said Dr. McKinney.
“How could this have happened?” asked Rod.
“If you had bothered to fully read your briefing book,” said Dr. McKinney, “you would have read about the unusual biology of the intelligent life forms on this planet. During sex the female secretes an acidic liquid from her reproductive organs. It does no harm to the males that the females normally mate with. But that acidic liquid is what has put you in the sorry shape you are now in.”
“Can't you fix it?” asked Rod.
“No,” said Dr. McKinney. “The acid zapped you between your legs. Look at how burned and damaged that thing is. We'll have to amputate it.”
“Amputate it?” said Rod. “No, no, anything but that!”
Jaworski and Wilson sat glumly in the starship's main cafe.
“It's a pity about Rod,” said Wilson. “He's like a bird who had his wings cut off.”
But Rod then came into the cafe, grinning from ear to ear.
“I thought they had to do that surgery,” said Jaworski, surprised. “You know – the last surgery in the world any man wants.”
“They did it,” said Rod. “Snip and cut. But with the wonders of stem cell technology, the doctor grew me a new one in the lab, and attached it to my body.”
“So you're as good as new?” said Wilson. “The Cosmic Casanova is back in business?”
“Not only that,” said Rod smiling happily, “while the doc was growing me a new one, he made mine three inches longer.”