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Our future, our universe, and other weighty topics

Tuesday, November 5, 2013

Anonymous Confessions of the Future

Frank Warren has compiled several books consisting of secret confessions sent to him anonymously by postcard. It all started when he gave out thousands of postcards addressed to himself, postcards encouraging people to confess their secrets. The project led to a web site www.postsecret.com, which every day has confessions by anonymous contributors. As the site claims to have had 638,179,903 page visits, we can imagine that this type of anonymous confession thing will continue far into the future. But what type of anonymous confessions will we see in the future? Below are some possibilities.

CN: I can stand making love to my very ugly wife only because I use augmented reality contact lenses which make her look like Marilyn Monroe.

RC: Everyone on my block thinks I have three perfectly behaved kids. Only I know the secret: they all have electronic brain implants, and I control their behavior by typing in codes using my smartphone.

NG: Whenever my wealthy “have it all” next-door neighbor leaves in the morning by jumping in his shiny flying car, I secretly hope he crashes.

BR. My college accepted me because of my perfect SAT. But it wasn't really me who took the test. I used my 3D printer to print out a neo-plastic mask matching my face, and had my genius friend wear it. He took the test, pretending to be me.

VT: I slipped a suggestibility drug into my Mom's soy milk. Now she never objects when I bring over my friends and we get high by using the latest computer-designed drugs in her living room.

JN: Although I seem to be a high official in government, I'm really a synthetic replacement created in an underground factory built by aliens. When we get enough replacements in place, we'll take over the world.

GD: I have a hydrofoil boat, a giant saucer shaped home, three self-driving cars, and twelve android robots. But secretly I think my life is so empty, shallow, and meaningless.

TK: Everyone thinks I have the perfect trophy wife, but she's just really just an android designed to make my neighbors envious.

RS: The five of us at the moon colony didn't really spend most of our time gathering rock samples. Instead we mainly did naughty stuff a whole lot more fun.

TK: Everyone on my block loves the meat dishes I serve at my parties. But it's really synthetic food that uses a chemical structure very similar to human flesh.

JR: Everyone is so happy about the new mega-skyscraper that is 3000 meters tall. Only I know it will collapse into rubble as soon as there's a really strong wind, but I can't get bring myself to tell anyone.

ND: Everyone thinks I'm a brilliant decision maker at work. But I really make most of my decisions by using a cutting edge AI system.

BR: I was sick of envying the richest guy in town. So I paid some thugs to kidnap him, and I paid a doctor to swap our brains. Now I'm him, and I have all his money.

ND: My cheating husband thinks he can bring in his girlfriend and have sex in our home while I'm at work. But I'm recording it all with a video recorder the size of a hair pin.

FH: I work alone on a SETI project at a radio telescope. One night I picked up a radio signal from extraterrestrials. But I deliberately erased it, and told no one. I thought it would upset people.

DF: My husband is not really the father of my son. I was artificially inseminated in a lab after they spliced together the genes of four successful people. 


NJ: The giant Mars rocket crashed because of a single letter I forgot to type in one line of programming code. After I found the error, I changed the line. Now no one will ever know it was my fault.

EB: I work for the government's surveillance program. I can type in the addresses of people on my block, and find all about which kinky sex topics they are interested in.

JD: The people on my block think I'm the fresh-faced girl next door, soon to start college. But I'm really a 90-year-old grandmother who underwent rejuvenation treatment to roll back the clock.

SM: I set up a replicant android to do my job at the office, and pretend to be me. I spend my day cruising gorgeous virtual worlds, and still get a big government paycheck.

BC: I'm an astronomer who discovered that a giant asteroid will destroy the Earth next year on January 3, 2090. But I haven't told anyone. Why spoil everyone's day?

VE: The man who I wanted to marry turned out to be a woman. She used a “programmable matter” bodysuit that fooled me completely, even when she was naked in bed.