The
probe from another universe suddenly appeared high in the Earth's
atmosphere, at an altitude of 10 kilometers. With a good portable
telescope, you could see the probe as a strange glowing sphere in the
sky. The probe continued to hang mysteriously in the same spot in
the upper atmosphere. After weeks of anxiety, the visitors from
another universe finally broadcast their intentions.
At
the White House, President Joe Hunt listed to the transmission that
was picked up and broadcast worldwide.
Do
not fear us. We have come in peace. We offer great benefits to your
primitive race. We can give you the solution to your most pressing
problems.
“Mr.
President, can I have a word with you?” asked General Stack.
“Don't
bother me,” said President Hunt. “Those weird visitors with that
probe in the upper atmosphere are finally telling us who they are.”
You
may think that we are visitors from some other planet in your
universe. But we are not. We have come from an entirely different
universe, a universe very different from yours. Our universe is not
mainly empty space, like your universe. Our universe is almost
entirely water. There is no empty space anywhere in our universe.
“Mr.
President, I must insist on having a word with you,” said General
Stack.
“Dammit,
don't bother me,” said President Hunt. “I'm listening to
creatures from another universe, for God's sake.”
You
may be surprised by how suddenly our probe appeared in your universe.
This is because we opened up a space-time wormhole that allows
instantaneous transport between our universe and your universe. So
now we will be able to travel to your universe, and you will be able
to travel to our universe.
“Mr.
President, don't you remember we launched nuclear missiles against
that probe?” said General Stack.
“What
the hell – when did that happen?” asked the President.
“We
already got your authorization,” said General Stack. “Remember we
asked for permission to launch a Type Red preemptive counter-measure,
using a Full Triad implementation?”
“Oh,
for God's sake, I can't believe you got me to authorize that using
all that confusing military jargon,” said President Hunt. “I
didn't even know what I was agreeing to. No problem, just recall the
missiles.”
“But
Mr. President, nuclear missiles cannot be recalled once they've been
launched,” said General Stack.
Ten
minutes later, the nuclear missiles exploded in the upper atmosphere.
The probe from another universe was blown up into a thousand pieces.
“If
the voters ever find out I blew up peaceful visitors, my re-election
prospects may be killed,” lamented President Hunt. “Let's hope
the voters forget about this.”
Within
an hour after the mysterious probe was destroyed, it started to rain
very hard. It keep raining for the rest of the day. It was like a
summer shower that wouldn't let up. The rain made the sad mood of
the day even worse.
When
President Hunt went to bed, he assumed that the rain would be over by
the time he woke up. But when he woke up the next morning, the rain
was still coming down full blast. His advisers notified him of
record flooding in Washington D.C.
The
full-blast rain continued throughout the day. Hunt wondered: is this
some divine punishment for the destruction of the visitors from
another universe?
Hunt
called in his science adviser, a man named Ed Fulton.
“What's
going on with all this rain?” asked the President. “Why does it
keep going full-blast?”
“I
have a frightening idea that might explain that,” said Fulton. “I
think water may be pouring through the wormhole that was opened up in
the upper atmosphere.”
“Water
from a wormhole?” asked the President incredulously.
“Don't
you remember what the visitors said before they were destroyed?”
asked Fulton. “They said they were from a universe filled with
water, in which there was no empty space. They also said they had
opened up a wormhole from their universe to ours. When we destroyed
their probe with our nuclear weapons, maybe we didn't destroy their
wormhole. Maybe their probe was kind of like the plug on the end of a
fire hose. So we destroyed the plug, and now the fire hose – the
wormhole – is still there. And it's causing water to pour forth
from their water-filled universe into our universe.”
“Oh,
my God,” said the President. “I know what I can do. I'll have the
military launch more nuclear missiles to try to blow up that
wormhole.”
Missile
after missile was launched, but none of them did any good. The water
continued to pour forth through the wormhole in the upper atmosphere,
passing from the water-filled universe into the skies of planet
Earth. The result was non-stop rainfall, like a summer shower that
just wouldn't stop.
Soon
it was clear that all of Washington D.C. would be underwater.
President Hunt moved the White House to the top of the new World
Trade Center in New York City. He looked through the windows as more
and more of New York City was submerged by the great flood.
When
it became clear that all New York City would be submerged by the
flood, the President and some top aides got in a helicopter that took
them to a base in the Rocky Mountains. Sad news reports came in of
city after city being submerged by the flood.
After
several months it became clear that even the Rocky Mountains would
soon be underwater. The president's helicopter left the mountain
base, and landed on an aircraft carrier. With almost the entire
country underwater, the only survivors were those living on aircraft
carriers or other ships.
On
the aircraft carrier President Hunt gloomily walked the deck with
General Stack.
"How
much food do we have on this carrier?” asked President Hunt.
“Only
enough to last us for eight weeks,” said General Stack sadly.
“Isn't
it ironic?” observed President Hunt. “On this aircraft carrier we got all this fancy stuff that we don't need, but we don't have the
simple thing we do need. We have the finest fighter-jets ever made.
Worthless.
We have the finest electronic equipment ever built. Worthless!
But
we don't have the simple thing we need: a few hundred fishing rods
with long lines.”
No comments:
Post a Comment