The press reported on the phenomenon. But for balance the press also asked the chairman of the Committee for Total Skepticism about the strange crop circles.
“This is just two guys with a board and a rope making the crop circles,” said the committee chairman, Paul Davidson.
“Precisely,” said the committee's vice-chairman, William Carter.
But the next month there was a strange new phenomenon. People across the world reported balls of light floating about at street level. The balls of light would often enter into people's homes. Some thought that the balls of light were some kind of reconnaissance devices to gather intelligence about the way humans lived.
The press reported on the phenomenon. But for balance the press also asked the chairman of the Committee for Total Skepticism about the strange balls of light.
“There
is a mundane natural explanation,” said the committee chairman,
Paul Davidson. “It's just ball lightning.”
“Precisely,”
said the committee's vice-chairman, William Carter.
In
June there was another alarming development. Huge UFOs were seen in
fifty places all over the world. They were sometimes seen moving at
incredible speeds.
The
press reported on the phenomenon. But for balance the press also
asked the chairman of the Committee for Total Skepticism about the
huge UFOs.
“There
is a mundane natural explanation,” said the committee chairman,
Paul Davidson. “It's just swamp gas.”
“Precisely,”
said the committee's vice-chairman, William Carter. “Accelerating
swamp gas.”
The next month at an outdoor rock concert 70,000 people reported seeing directly above them a giant UFO the size of an aircraft carrier. The witnesses claimed that they could look inside windows of the giant flying craft, and see strange creatures moving around.
The press reported on the strange sighting. But for balance the press also asked the chairman of the Committee for Total Skepticism about the huge UFO.
“There
is a simple natural explanation,” said the committee chairman,
Paul Davidson. “The report was just a case of mass hysteria.”
“Precisely,”
said the committee's vice-chairman, William Carter.
“Social-media-facilitated mass hysteria.”
In
August another strange thing happened. Above New York City and
Boston, witnesses reported seeing thousands of UFOs in the sky. The
UFOs were many different colors.
The
press reported on the strange sighting. But for balance the press
also asked the chairman of the Committee for Total Skepticism about
the sightings of thousands of UFOs.
“There
is a simple explanation,” said the committee chairman, Paul
Davidson. “It was merely a moving dust swarm. What appeared to be UFOs
high in the sky were just tiny particles near the eye.”
“Precisely,”
said the committee's vice-chairman, William Carter. “Probably the
different colors were simply caused by refraction of the dust
particles.”
The
next month another amazing thing happened. A strange metallic craft
descended from the sky and landed in a field in Washington D.C. Strange blue creatures four meters tall were
repeatedly seen emerging from the craft, and walking about on top of
the craft.
A
crowd of television reporters surrounded the craft. Annoyed by the
attention the craft was getting, Paul Davidson and William Carter rushed to where the craft had landed. Carter and Davidson grabbed a
TV reporter, and asked him to have his camera crew film the pair.
“We will now demonstrate that this so-called extraterrestrial landing is merely a paper-mache illusion or a case of mass hysteria,” said Paul Davidson. “Watch, we will now shoot these so-called extraterrestrials, and no harm will come to us.”
The
two took out guns, and began firing at the strange figures on top of
the UFO. Soon the UFO fired back a laser-powered heat ray that instantly turned both Davidson and Carter into charred crisp blackened cinders.
Both
of the men experienced their souls floating out of their burnt dead bodies.
They both experienced the strange wonder of passing through a tunnel
at great speeds, moving towards a bright light. After passing through
the tunnel, they found themselves in some strange shining realm with
magnificent glowing towers taller than any on Earth. Looking at each other, Carter and Davidson could see they now had transparent spirit-bodies. Dead
relatives came to greet them, also appearing as transparent figures that moved with a floating, flying motion.
“We must still be back in Washington," said Paul Davidson. "This
whole experience must just be a hallucination.”
“Precisely,” said William Carter. “No doubt we're having one of those cross-infection hallucinations experienced identically by two people.”
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