I
had enjoyed many centuries living a carefree existence as a photon, a
free roaming particle of energy. It was fun to just be a wandering
massless particle of energy, not subject to many rules. But I always
dreamed of something more in life. I longed to have a more intimate
and deeper relation with my fellow subatomic particles. So one day I
signed up to be an electron. Of course, you can't just choose to be
an electron and jump in an atom. First you have to go to the Academy
for Electrons, to learn all the stuff that a good electron needs to
know. That's exactly where I found myself, all enthusiastic about
beginning my training.
On
the first day of school I found myself in a big room with lots of
other electron trainees. I was hoping to find some particularly cute
young electron I could become friends with, but sadly every single
electron there looked exactly the same as me. It was like being in a
freaking hall of mirrors.
The
teacher started to begin the first lesson.
“OK,
you clueless clowns, listen up and listen good,” said the teacher.
“Your wild and crazy days as free roaming photons of energy are
over. We will teach you to be good electrons. That means that you
will have to learn many a new trick, and many a new rule. The first
lesson will be how to behave when you are traveling through an
electric wire.”
They
injected me and the entire class of electrons into a big copper wire,
and let us travel through the wire repeatedly in an electrical
circuit. It was a blast! All I had to do was enjoy the wild ride. It
was kind of like being a fish being carried along by the high-speed
flow of the rapids of the Colorado River at the bottom of the Grand
Canyon. Me and the other electrons giggled when we bumped into each
other.
I
thought to myself: cool, I am going to enjoy being an electron. But
then they had us do something harder.
“OK,
you newbies, now it's time for something more challenging,” said
the teacher. “You have probably heard of the famous Double Slit
Experiment. In this experiment electrons act like particles when they
pass through one slit, but they act like waves when passing through
two slits. You must learn this important skill.”
To
prepare us for this test, they had us electrons practice changing
back and forth from a particle state to a wave state. I tried it, and
it was fun. I felt all kind of loose and jiggly and energetic when I
changed into the wave state.
Then
they injected us electrons through either one slit or two slits. I
was supposed to act like a particle if there was one slit, and act
like a wave if there were two slits. But there was a problem. They
injected me so fast I had no time to look and see whether there were
one slit or two slits! So I just faked it. I randomly guessed whether
there were two slits or one, changing myself into a wave half of the
time. By pure luck, it worked. Other poor electrons weren't so
lucky, and were flunked out of the Academy right there and then.
“OK,
students,” said the teacher, “now it's time to learn the real
core of being an electron. It's time to practice the art of orbiting
the nucleus of an atom.”
They
started us electrons out simple. I was put in a simple hydrogen atom,
and had to do nothing but keep orbiting around the nucleus. It was a
piece of cake. Any idiot could have done it. I thought to myself: is
this all there is to being an electron in an atom? But then things
got more complicated.
“Now,
my little friends,” barked the teacher, “you will learn another
important part of being an electron. You will learn how to do quantum
jumps.”
The
teacher explained that a quantum jump is when an electron jumps from
one orbit around the nucleus to another orbit. I tried jumping to a
different orbit, moving as fast as I could.
“No,
no, no,” scolded the teacher. “You've got to move to a different
orbit instantaneously.”
This
seemed impossible to do, but after a lot of practice, I was able to
do it. I kind of concentrated real hard, and then, poof, I was
able to jump to a different orbit in the atom.
So
they had us electrons practice quantum jumps in atoms. They sent in
photons of energy, and whenever a photon of energy hit me, I was
supposed to do a quantum jump to a different orbit in the atom.
At
first I thought I had got the hang of it. But then they told me about
a rule that would mess everything up for me.
“You're
doing it wrong,” the teacher said to me. “You can't just jump to
any old spot in the atom when you do a quantum jump. You have to
follow the Pauli Exclusion Principle. The Pauli Exclusion Principle
says that no two electrons in the same atom can have the same quantum
state. That means you can't jump to an orbital position in the atom
if another electron with your spin is already there.”
Here
was the deal. They put me in a complicated atom with dozens of other
electrons, orbiting the nucleus in many different orbits. They sent
in photons into the atom. Whenever a photon hit me, I was supposed to
jump to a different place in the atom. But I couldn't just jump into
any old place. I had to figure out exactly the right place to jump
to, so that I could obey this godawful Pauli Exclusion Principle.
Plus, I had to figure that out instantaneously.
It
was kind of like a rule that you can take any seat in a dark crowded
movie theater where there are only a few seats, but you can't ever
sit next to someone with the same eye color that you have. And also,
you have to figure out which seat to take instantaneously.
I
tried to fake it, like I had done with the slit test. I just tried
jumping to random positions in the atom. But it didn't work. They
kept catching me, and they kept telling me I was violating the Pauli
Exclusion Principle.
Finally
I lost my temper.
“What
do you think I am, some kind of freaking Einstein?” I bellowed.
“How in hell is an electron like me supposed to instantaneously
figure out the right place to jump to in a complicated atom with lots
of other electrons?”
My
teacher had no sympathy for me. I was thrown out of the Academy for
Electrons.
So
I gave up my hope of becoming an electron. Now I am once again a
lonely free-roaming carefree massless photon of energy. My dreams of
moving up in life have been shattered. Crushed by the system!
I
still can't figure out how those other electrons manage to keep
instantaneously jumping to the right positions in those atoms.
This
story is fiction, but it raises a serious question. How is it
that electrons are able to behave so “brilliantly” when doing
quantum jumps in complex atoms?
No comments:
Post a Comment